On behalf of Ermintrude2, Abe Laurens, Bonklesoul, Celtic Knot and those others who have contributed to the Not So Big Society, we would all like to make a formal apology for our criticisms of the coalition government.
We finally understand that the NHS deserves reform, and the new Clinical Commissioning Groups will clearly drive up standards. Doing it in the middle of an unprecedented spending squeeze was exactly the right timing.
We also entirely agree that the widespread withdrawal of social workers from healthcare teams, particularly in mental health services, is a gigantic leap forward. Health and social care provide far better outcomes when working apart.
The bedroom tax? Clearly a well thought-through new measure, with absolutely nothing to worry about in terms of unintended consequences.
Legal Aid cuts? Who needs one of those hoighty-toighty “lawyers” when we have Wikipedia to get us through a divorce hearing?
As for the armed forces, who needs an actual army when we have those aircraft carriers in the pipeline that we’ll definitely have the money and resources to use when they finally materialise? As for the Trident replacement, we’d say more, but we’d wind up gushing.
Let’s not forget Cameron’s pledge to lead “the greenest government ever”. He’s done fantastic work sticking to that promise.
Let’s face it, this government is awesome. With leaders of the calibre of Michael Gove, Iain Duncan-Smith and Jeremy Hunt showing us the way, we can’t believe our luck!
So, on behalf of all those working in public services, we would like to wish Mr Cameron et al a very happy April Fool’s Day!
P.S. Vote UKIP.