The Poverty Gene

Once upon a time a group of politicians thought it would be a good idea to give lots of money or funding to research into whether people who are on welfare benefits differ from those who are not. Their hypothesis was that they must be suffering from a faulty gene if they lacked a desire to work. If such a faulty gene could be found it could be repaired and everyone would go back to work.

After many years and money spent on such research a gene was found which they decided to name P45 which was closely linked but probably a mutant genetic transformation of the P60 gene found in people who were already in work. All health and social care staff were encouraged to get people tested for the faulty gene to see if they had said P45. Surprisingly many of their clients and service users did although for some it was very hard to find.

Now all we have to do thought the politicians is to fix the gene, perhaps with drugs which was cheaper than surgery or using or creating more expensive machinery that would blast the gene out of a person’s body and would keep NHS costs down . Once this target was achieved and people no longer possessed the P45 gene then they could all go back to work.

All we have to do then said the politicians is find them some jobs. I know said one politician why don’t we give lots of money to research that will help us create work-like activity for people cured of the Poverty gene! That is a really good idea said another and so they all skipped off together happily ever after.

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6 thoughts on “The Poverty Gene

  1. Unfortunately the P60 gene seems to have mutated into P45 for rather a lot of people as well. Not least for NHS workers themselves.

    Do you think the P45 genetic mutation may be contagious as well as hereditary? Perhaps caused by contact with the world beyond mansion houses and country estates.

  2. There is some evidence to suggest that it all might have begun to mutate around the 1980s when a a nasty strain of flu enveloped the whole of the UK leaving many people vulnerable and close to starvation. The mansion house people however developed a moral resistance quite quickly though.

  3. The poverty gene explains a lot. There can be only one solution: euthanize everyone with the poverty gene.

  4. Oh yes I remember that moral resistance. It came after surgery – the moralectomy. As I recall though man. Outside mansion land decided to refuse the procedure.

  5. Ah Stuart! the moralectomy! How dare people have beliefs of their own best cut them out quick! This of course was replaced with the virtual surgical world of soulectomy where you could obliterate a rogue soul with chemicals.

    Far quicker and more humane than euthanasia don’t you think solutions777?

  6. hey, thanks for sharing these thoughts! May be you wanna help me further to find more information about these research? I’m very curious to know more about the details of it. I’ve seen some statistical correlations between poverty and other traits (e.g., I.Q., alcoholism, etc.), but I’ve never seen one linking poverty and genes. I’m not one for genetic explanations of social issues, but still I like to keep my self somewhat inform of what are the claims or presumed findings. If you could direct me to your sources that would be appreciated!

    Thanks -L

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